Generosity, Identity

A Funny Story and An Identity Crisis

Social Media is such an interesting thing. I have a love/hate relationship with it, and I suspect you probably do too. I love connecting with people there and sharing all of life’s highlights, and I hate the negative way it is used by some. I love the ability to stay up to date on the lives of my friends and the news of the world around me, but I hate the self-centeredness and vindictiveness it propagates.

I thought I was fairly immune to all of that.

On Sunday afternoon I created a Facebook post about my friend who is pregnant with twins and very open to receiving help right now. I attached a link to her Amazon registry, and I just knew that many of my friends would want to help. I had a feeling they would respond with generosity. I clicked “post” and ran out the door with Robert to our bi-annual church Summit.

When we got home later that evening, I checked my notifications and….nothing.

I checked the baby registry and not one thing had been purchased.

It was surprising, and I began to ponder over the reasons no one was responding. I’m a little embarrassed to admit the reasons I came up with…

No one likes me.

I must be so annoying.

I’m too demanding.

Any previous support and encouragement given to me was feigned.

People are secretly angry with me.

The next morning and throughout much of Monday I continued to check for notifications or purchases.

Nothing.

My mind continued to race with reasons and only occasionally allowed for the possibility that people might just be busy and overwhelmed during this holiday (and highly political) season.

Later on Monday, I walked into the kitchen after running errands and began chatting with Kayla. After a few minutes she casually mentioned that she saw my Facebook post on my opened FB page, but had never noticed the post in her own news feed.

(If you have any social media savvy, you’ve probably already figured out where this is going…)

Kayla told me that she switched to her account to see if she could see the post on my page, but that she wasn’t able to see it. Then she decided to switch back to my account and check the post settings which were…you guessed it…set to “private.”

No one could see the post but ME.

Ugh.

Immediately, any condemnation I felt for making a dumb mistake was swept away by the relief that maybe I wasn’t the bane of my FB friends’ existence after all.

That’s right, I’ll be turning 48 in just three short weeks, and have yet to settle into a perfectly secure identity. Actually, it’s far from perfect as has been clearly revealed.

You want to know what I find such a great gift of grace from God? That He meets us in our specific weaknesses not with further condemnation, but with accommodation.

Oh, He taught me an important lesson about my fragile identity, but then He showered me with reassurance that I am not, in fact, a pariah. He did not have to do that.

Many of you know the end of this story, because you watched it play out on Facebook (after I re-posted it for the viewing of all of my friends), or you clicked on the Amazon registry and saw that almost ALL of what my friend registered for has been purchased. One of you wrote to me to acknowledge the tremendous outpouring of generosity on behalf of this soon-to-be mother-of-twins, and asked me to contact you at a future date when this mom might feel like throwing in the towel. You want to be a support when the going gets tough.

It was an outpouring indeed. One that has overwhelmed this young mom with support and provision, and one that has overwhelmed me with the goodness of God through His people.

As this young woman began to see the outpouring, she added a few more items to her list. Higher priced, but necessary items which I think she had been hesitant to request. Even a few of those were immediately purchased. When the $150 stroller was added, I prayed that someone would be able and feel compelled to buy it. A few hours later it was marked “purchased.”

Amazing.

At the risk of being an annoying pariah, I just want to let you know that there are a few more items that were added recently and will be needed immediately. Things like car seats, car seat covers, swaddlers and sleep sacs. If you’re able, or know someone who is, I know she would be so blessed by the gift.

Here’s the link again.

And don’t worry. I’m over the complex I gave myself on Monday, and I’ve learned (for the gazillionth time?) that God sees, knows, and loves me.  And He reassured me that maybe even a few of you do too.