Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is great;
but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

These photos were taken at Crosswalk Youth Camp, which our family has been privileged to be a part of for the last eight years or so; Robert serving as camp pastor and Bible study leader. A sermon on the biblical perspective of marriage was not planned to be one of the six Robert would be preaching this year, but Allyson, the camp director asked him if he would change course one evening, sensing a deep need for it among the 400 or so teenagers in attendance. (The first pictures are of us dancing during the “Dancing” sermon. The final photo is from the Q & A we did the next morning.) They are swimming in a culture of sexuality like never before, and the culture’s version isn’t necessarily healthy. It is definitely not according to the beautiful one laid out for us by the Creator of it all.

“Marriage,” Robert explained, “is meant to tell the story of Christ and the church. It’s purpose on earth is to illustrate the sacrificial love shown on the cross, and the grateful response of of His people.”

“Kind of like a dance,” he said. “The old school kind of dance. The kind where the man walks across the room and asks the woman to dance. The kind where she graciously accepts the invitation and follows his gentle lead.”

And Christ wants us to dance only with Him. He was the first jealous husband. (And I do mean husband. Boyfriends need not apply, unless they are bearing rings declaring commitment.) But it was a holy jealousy. One meant to keep us protected and whole.

You shall have no other gods before me.
Exodus 20:3

Marriage is supposed to be beautiful re-enactment of the gospel story. Every day. Here on earth. Unfortunately, it doesn’t often look so beautiful. Actually, marriage looks messy among humans – even Christians. One female youth leader told me that the kids at the high school where she teaches see no purpose to it, and do not aspire to it. (Parenthood, yes. Marriage? Not so much.) Even still, the truth, life, and hope in the gospel are the reason we stand for marriage And not just marriage, but absolute purity prior to marriage, heterosexual marriage, and monogamy. The alternatives to those things “don’t tell the correct story,” Robert kept repeating, as he touched on each of those topics in his sermon that night.

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled…
Hebrews 13: 4

On Sunday, Robert and I celebrated 18 years of striving to live out the story. We have failed a lot. I’ve been irritated when he wouldn’t read my mind and know that what I really wanted was to dance. He’s been frustrated that I didn’t notice his out-held hand. Lots of two left feet. Lots of stepped on toes.

Thankfully, I have a husband who will notice when the music is fading, that the DJ is winding things down, and who will rush across the room to take me in his arms. No matter who’s watching. No matter that he is not the most confident dancer. And even when I am reluctant, his loving and selfless initiation wins me over every time.

Just like Jesus.

What a thrill to be His bride. What a joy to be Robert’s.

(This song is so true and beautiful and makes me cry every time. And I also wanted to leave you with a great C.S. Lewis quote about “the dance,” but I can’t find it and need Cindy’s help! Help Cindy! Maybe tomorrow…stay tuned!)