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Holy Week – “Do You See This Woman?” I Do, Lord.

And behold, there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.

Now when the Pharisee, who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.”

She has always intrigued me. Haunted me. Called out to me.

I require His forgiveness equally. But I don’t easily recognize it.

Have long prayed to be this aware of what I have received from Him.

May gratitude overshadow all pride, fear, insecurity – and overflow in humble expression.

No matter who’s looking.

And, turning to the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she anointed my feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.

Luke 7: 36 – 47

Spending today asking to be searched and made aware of sin.

So that I can recognize the expensive gift He gave.

So that I can give freely, lavishly, and expensively.

Not safely and comfortably – but expressively, demonstratively.

Also re-reading Bold Love by Dan Allender…

In order to talk about the love of God – His merciful gift of forgiveness – one must be deeply sincere, almost driven, to face the darkness, the foul blight, the oozing stain of sin. This is not a terribly popular thought, an even less attractive exercise. Why, when so many suffer from severe self-contempt, poor self-images, and profound relational emptiness, would anyone, especially a psychologist, encourage wounded strugglers to ponder wickedness? It sounds cruel, but it can be life-giving. How?

The answer is as complex as the convoluted, fallen human soul, but it can be addressed in simple terms: Mercy is persistently meaningful only to the degree I am silenced by the enormity of my refusal to love God and others with my whole heart, soul, strength, and mind.

Yes. I want to be searched, and acknowledge that which keeps me from loving Him and others fully.

And trying to be faithfully expressive, not withholding of my love to Christ and to those He’s given me when it IS revealed to me. For example…

A few weeks ago, at our weekly couples’ Bible study, a new couple joined us. They are delightful, academic, devout, European newlyweds! We greeted them in the kitchen, took their coats, and began introducing them to the others in the group. Some time later, Kory (my oldest), walked in to the kitchen, smiled, thrust out his hand, and confidently, with eye contact said, “Hi, I’m Kory.”

Now that may not sound like a big deal to you, but this Mama was so proud. There was no prompting needed. No sullen, apathetic, rude teenager here, but a humble, respectful, polite, and welcoming young man – whose comfort zone, that gesture was probably a bit out of. I was sincerely amazed. I mean he’s a great kid, but this was grown-up stuff!

I mentioned how proud I was to Robert later that night. I even thanked the Lord for the work He is doing in my almost 15 year old. And then it occurred to me….why have I not expressed these sentiments to the one who made me so proud?

So, the next night as I was putting the boys to bed (yes, they still expect us to do this, and I’m not complaining!) I said, “Kory, I just wanted you to know how proud I was of you last night when you welcomed Luca and Jennie, and introduced yourself to them. That was a very kind and loving thing to do. Adults are especially blessed when a young person shows that kind of maturity and respect. Thank you so much for doing that.”

And this may also seem like no big deal to you, but recently I’ve realized that this is an area of sin in my life. Withholding love, affection, encouragement, compliment, appreciation. I might think it, but something keeps me from saying it, and I know it has so much to do with my pride (Appreciation requires humility) and a sense of entitlement (My kids should act this way, and without acknowledgment.). And not always. I’ve definitely grown in this area, but I’d like the prideful restraint to be gone completely. I think Jesus would, too. For my own benefit. Because He knows I will be more joyful. More free.

I’d like to more fully recognize the unrestrained love and acceptance of Christ – and that when I had done NOTHING pleasing to Him – and then return it lavishly in my devotion to Him and my love for others.

Being forgiven much. Loving much.

Like her.

5 thoughts on “Holy Week – “Do You See This Woman?” I Do, Lord.

  1. Ah, Mel. We're living different lives, come from very different places, and yet are both wretched sinners, with so much in common. The heart of Jesus in me lept for joy at the heart of Jesus in you as I read your post. I pray that we may both let him occupy more and more of us. (Do you know the Care Bears? As I was reading/typing, I got a picture of them doing the "care bear stare!" and the Holy Spirit being that "stare" and melting away the sin and hardness…if you don't know the Care Bears, just YouTube them/ =) xo

  2. Thanks, ladies.

    Megan, I was SO hoping to see you this weekend, but know you guys needed a true vacation. I hope it was nice and relaxing.

    And it comforts me that you could relate.

    (And I know the Care Bears, but not the stare! Will YouTube later! : ) )

  3. I'm so glad I leaped over here today! Beautiful post on a blessed week! One of the many things I love about Jesus was the way He recognized the servitude of the women who came to him as a strength, not a weakness…and then made sure those around Him saw the ways He valued and lifted up these women of faith. He liberated women in society long before there was ever an official "movement" = ) I pray I also embrace him lavishly, remembering that faith and service is a gift of strength, and that at His feet is where I belong!

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